Accessing Your Inner Guidance–Part Two
Feb/100
You’ve heard of Murphy’s Law, which says that whatever can go wrong will go wrong. Well, there’s another law, which says that left to themselves, things have a tendency to go from bad to worse. When something is making you unhappy, for any reason, the situation will tend to get worse rather than better. So avoid the temptation to engage in denial, to pretend that nothing is wrong, to wish and hope and pray that, whatever it is, it will go away and you won’t have to do anything. The fact is that it probably will get worse before it gets better and that ultimately you will need to face the situation and do something about it.
There’s an old saying that you can’t solve a problem on the level that you meet it. This means that wrestling with a challenge is usually fruitless and frustrating. For example, if two people who are in a relationship together are constantly fighting and negotiating and looking for some way to resolve their difficulties, they’re attempting to solve the problem on the wrong level. Dealing with the problem on a higher level, those people would ask the question, “In terms of being happy, is this the right relationship for us in the first place?” As soon as you begin to use happiness as your measure of rightness, you begin to see a situation entirely differently.
Many people work very hard and experience considerable frustration trying to do a particular job. However, in terms of their own happiness, the right answer might be to do something else, or to do what they’re doing in a different place, or to do it with different people-or all three.
Ask Yourself
Following are a few questions for you to answer in this arena of happiness. Many people refuse to even consider these questions because they’re afraid that if they do, they won’t like the answers. But nevertheless, have the courage to clearly define your life in your own terms. Here are the questions; write them down at the top of a sheet of paper, and then write as many answers to each one as you possibly can.
The first question is: “What would it take for me to be perfectly happy?” Write down every single thing that you can imagine would be in your life if you were perfectly happy at this very moment. Write down things such as health, happiness, prosperity, loving relationships, inner peace, travel, car, clothes, homes, money, and so on. Let your mind run freely. Imagine that you have no limitations at all. Write everything down whether or not you think you have the capacity to acquire it or achieve it in the short term. Your first job is always to be clear about what it would take for you to have your ideal life.
The second question is a little tougher. Write down at the top of a page this question: “In what situations in my life, and with whom, am I not perfectly happy?” Force yourself to think about every part of your day, from morning to night, and write down every element that makes you unhappy or dissatisfied in any way. Remember, proper diagnosis is half the cure. Identifying the problematic situations is the first step to resolving them.
The third question will give you some important guidelines. Write down at the top of a sheet of paper these words: “In looking over my life, where and when have I been the happiest? Where was I, with whom was I, and what was I doing?”
By asking and answering those three questions, you begin to delve deeper and deeper into yourself and your feelings. You begin to accept your own happiness as a legitimate standard by which to evaluate everyone and everything in your life. You begin to develop the wisdom, the courage, and the foresight to organize your life in such a way that you become a much happier person.
Once you have the answers to those questions, think about what you can do, starting immediately, to begin creating the kind of life that you dream of. It may take you a week, a month or a year, but that doesn’t matter. Every single thing you do that moves you closer to your vision of happiness will be rewarding in itself. You’ll become a more positive and optimistic person. You’ll feel more confident and more in charge of your life.
Happy vs. Right
And now here’s the most important exercise of all. It is from the advice of Dr. Gerald Jampolsky, who asks, “Do you want to be right, or do you want to be happy?” He recommends that you set peace of mind as your highest goal and that you select and organize around it all your other goals in life. You hold up each part of your life to this standard of peace of mind, and you either get into or get out of anything that adds to it or detracts from it.
The most important part in this process of getting in touch with your feelings is to begin to practice solitude on a regular basis. Solitude is the most powerful activity in which you can engage. Men and women who practice it correctly and on a regular basis never fail to be amazed at the difference it makes in their lives.
Most people have never practiced solitude. Most people have never sat down quietly by themselves for any period of time in their entire lives. Most people are so busy being busy, doing something-even watching television-that it’s highly unusual for them to simply sit, deliberately, and do nothing. But as Catherine Ponder points out, “Men and women begin to become great when they begin to take time quietly by themselves, when they begin to practice solitude.” And here’s the method you can use.
Method of Solitude
To get the full benefit of your periods of solitude, you must sit quietly for at least 30 to 60 minutes at a time. If you haven’t done it before, it will take the first 25 minutes or so for you to stop fidgeting and moving around. You’ll almost have to hold yourself physically in your seat. You’ll have an almost irresistible desire to get up and do something. But you must persist.
Solitude requires that you sit quietly, perfectly still, back and head erect, eyes open, without cigarettes, candy, writing materials, music or any interruptions whatsoever for at least 30 minutes. An hour is better.
Become completely relaxed, and breathe deeply. Just let your mind flow. Don’t deliberately try to think about anything. The harder you “don’t try,” the more powerfully it works. After 20 or 25 minutes, you’ll begin to feel deeply relaxed. You’ll begin to experience a flow of energy coming into your mind and body. You’ll have a tremendous sense of well-being. At this point, you’ll be ready to get the full benefit of these moments of contemplation.
The incredible thing about solitude is that if it is done correctly, it works just about 100 percent of the time. While you’re sitting there, a stream, a river, of ideas will flow through your mind. You’ll think about countless subjects in an uncontrolled stream of consciousness. Your job is just to relax and listen to your inner voice. At a certain stage during your period of solitude, the answers to the most pressing difficulties facing you will emerge quietly and clearly, like a boat putting in gently to the side of a lake. The answer that you seek will come to you so clearly and it will feel so perfect that you’ll experience a deep sense of gratitude and contentment. You may get several answers in one period of quiet sitting. But in any case, you’ll get the answer to the most important situation facing you every single time.
When you arise from this period of quiet, you must do exactly what has come to you. It may involve dealing with a human situation. It may involve starting something or quitting something. Whatever it is, when you follow the guidance that you received in solitude, it will turn out to be exactly the right thing to do. Everything will be OK. And it will usually work out far better than you could have imagined. Just try it and see.
That brings us to the final point on getting in touch with your feelings: You must learn to trust yourself. You must learn to take time to listen to your emotions and your feelings as to what makes you happy or unhappy, as to what feels right or wrong. You must absolutely trust that what is right for you is the right thing to do. You must never compromise on what your inner voice tells you to do. You must never go against what you feel to be correct. You must develop the habit of listening to yourself and then acting on the guidance you receive.
When you listen to yourself and act on what you hear inside, you are setting out on the road to personal greatness.
Read “Accessing Your Inner-Guidance Part One”
Would you like to come out of this recession as a self-made millionaire?
Register for my seminar: Total Business Makeover
Save Love And Happiness
Feb/100
Sometimes it is very difficult to save good strong relations with your partners. And a lot of people have to go through break up. It is very painful and offended, when your partner leaves. And in such moments you think only about how to get him back! But it is not so simple. At first you should understand the reason of rupture.
You made everything for him and he didn’t appreciate it. Such ladies try to devote all life and every free minute to the spouse. Reveling in own sacrifice, they live with resentment. And it should be felt. The man starts to feel fault for the life ruined for the sake of him. And as with this consciousness to live difficultly, he leaves. Probably you should change something into your mind and learn how to live not only for your partner, but also for you.
The majority of men are afraid of female hysterics. If first it gave surge of adrenaline and in something even it was pleasant to both people, in the course of time the life on a volcano becomes intolerable. And more often you will be discharged from negative energy at the husband, there are more than chances that he will go to search for himself more phlegmatic young lady. You should understand that you would get nothing good if you can’t speak with your husband tenderly and only shout at him.
Remind, probably your man left you because you worked too much and paid very little attention to your spouse. The woman-workaholic is the difficult phenomenon of our life. She wishes to be in time almost everything: to get an education, to make the career, to get married and to give birth to children… But there isn’t such stock of health and energy. And if the accent becomes on career, usually relations often happen to be broken. Even if you work much, give the partner attention – men are rather jealous and sensitive, sometimes like small children.
Whatever passionate were your relations at the initial stage of your acquaintance, in some years they become quieter. Many women wait refreshing of feelings from men, but themselves become cold and forget to pay attention to their partners. They hold insult in themselves, and in the person state only reproaches on trifles, at times rather unfair.
However it does not mean at all that in rupture of relations the woman is always guilty. There are such kinds among men with whom even the most ideal could not build happiness and long-termed relations.
Try to think over the reason of your break up seriously and if you find out the main problem, which caused your divorce, you will probably find the way to solve it. But don’t be in a hurry to restore your relations, probably it is better to find somebody else and you will be happier with other person!
Do you need as answer to the “how to get your ex back” question? Please visit the website of this ex back system that has helped many people to get out of the how to get your ex back drama.
Remember, that a situation with how to get your ex back question is not the end of everything. You simply need to know where exactly to find the answer and what to do about it.
Save Love And Happiness
Feb/100
Yesterday everything was good. And today he leaves forever. And you think why is it?
This situation can develop and in relations with the man with whom you have just got acquainted, and with whom have lived not one year or more. We suppose what errors do we make communicating with men? If we understand our mistakes, we will find the way how to get your partner back!
You only have got acquainted…You had some magnificent dates, you felt a mutual attraction, liking… And suddenly once your favorite has refused to meet with you. What could occur?
You were too persuasive. Probably, you very much were delighted that you at last had a loving person. Often called to him, demanded dates. And at meetings cared only of telling the story about your life and bad destiny…
You are not able to keep secrets. This conclusion can make your partner both directly, and indirectly. We will admit, you have told to the girlfriend any thing, which concerned only you and your partner. And she has stirred up to her two-three acquaintances. And this story eventually has reached your partner. And can be, you simply unceasingly told him about your ex. And the person has drawn a conclusion that you also will stir about him if your break up.
You have attempted upon his free time. Sometimes the man should «creep in the den» and to sit out there. Having got acquainted with the woman, he is afraid that she will fill with herself all his life and he cannot spend days off on a sofa with a small bottle of beer or on a football match with friends. If you insist too often on joint spending of a weekend, he can feel in a trap and will think that it is better to break up with you as soon as it possible.
Do not demand from your partner that he entertained you during all weekend. But thus do not forget to invite him every time as you gather somewhere. Let him to have a choice.
You too have early started to hint that you have serious intentions. Men are afraid of this very much. There is nothing bad in speaking about dreams, about the future: what countries you would like to look, what successes to achieve on work, what car would prefer to have, even what house to have. But if you constantly plan about marriage, children and repeat that you want more, the man can run away, having been frightened of your pressure.
You are together for some years already…
You have quite good, strong marriage, from time to time – small quarrels, sex on days off. But all it does not mean at all that once your beloved will not close silently a door and will not leave for ever. You should always remember about your husband and take good care about him. Your relations should be friendly and honest, if you want to save your marriage for many years!
In conclusion, I would like to say that if you went through break up and found out the reason of it, you should be patient in getting your ex back!
It is almost impossible to avoid the cases when you have to face the how to get your ex back situation. The biggest mistake here is that people think too much about how to get your ex back, instead of putting this whole situation in another way. It is not about how to get your ex back, really. It is about how to make it interesting again.
Fantasy on the Dance Floor
Feb/100
© Lillian Bassman, Fantasy on the Dance Floor: Barbara Mullen, Paris 1949. Gelatin silver print, 20 x 24 inches.
This image will be on display with the Peter Fetterman Gallery at this year’s AIPAD show from March 18-21. For more details on the AIPAD show, visit the website. To see more work from Lillian Bassman and the Peter Fetterman Gallery, click here.
Politics, Sex and Religion: Why the Masses Attack
Feb/100
Have you ever wondered why these subjects are off limits in mixed company? Research shows it’s not what most people think. It’s actually all about mental toughness; or lack thereof. The higher level of consciousness a person is operating at, the more open minded they are to opposing thoughts and ideas. The lower levels of consciousness are rooted so deeply in fear that people operating at these levels (90% of the population) are not only offended by opposing views on these and other major life issues; they will viciously attack anyone who has the courage to voice them. Human beings attempt to make sense of a world they’re not intellectually capable of fully understanding by establishing a series of beliefs and filtering everything that happens through them. These beliefs are like a series of dots they use to connect their experiences together so they make sense and have purpose. The major life issues of politics, sex and religion represent “dots” of substantial importance to most people, and when they’re challenged, the average person’s emotional security is threatened; which is when they attack. After all, they reason (consciously or unconsciously) “If this opposing view is correct and I’m wrong, the world no longer makes sense to me.” In essence, people who speak out on these types of topics threaten to “scramble the dots” of the person they’re speaking to. People operating at the higher levels of consciousness welcome these fascinating debates and opposing view points because at their level of thinking, fear doesn’t exist. Please listen to this 7-minute post and then give us YOUR opinion.
Steve Siebold