Be Happy Together
Feb/100
What to do if a situation in a family develops in the adverse image, or it is already close to a destructive stage, or already is in this stage? And what do we usually do in this case? Traditionally — we follow council to close people, members of families, friends, etc.; and it is remarkable (that, however, happens seldom) if their councils appear for the future and the crisis situation manages to be overcome successfully, but, more often, a good advice of other people goes only to the detriment; and not because this advice not on kind, and simply because each situation, in each family is unique, people are also unique and the general recipes simply cannot exist; what was effective and good for one person, it can appear destructive for others, for their mutual relations.
For this reason the help of the psychologist, the expert, and the most important thing, persons impartial here is necessary, capable sensibly to estimate a situation. But, it is necessary to note it, exists in practice and other variant is when partners do not address for the help to anybody in general, and, intuitively try to resolve a crisis situation. This variant, it is necessary to note, of course, is more preferable than the first, by means of councils of relatives, and, it is necessary to tell, yields positive results is more often, but here besides all depends on successful coincidence of circumstances, from inspiration, whether luck is, etc. Only you should make the choice and act if you want to save your family and get your ex back…
If you want to get your ex back, how the psychologist can help you. First, to reveal real causality of crisis and rupture; often, on a pique of experiences, people simply do not see the true reasons of the conflict, exaggerate the importance of minor aspects lying nearby — we speak in an household way. Further, does not mean at all that after work of the psychologist the world in your family will be restored and everything will be as before, sometimes in the course of work the client himself is convinced that concrete mutual relations actually are not so necessary to him, he has already outgrown them and all sharpness of experiences is connected with feelings of love or attachment to the partner, and lies somewhere in unconscious areas, more often, there, where someone, had once been put the terrible: «do not divorce!» .
Having released from complexes and illusions the person is capable to construct new, healthy mutual relations with the partner, to establish a new, happy family, to live happily in new marriage, instead of unsuccessfully to try to get ex partner back.
And, certainly, if as a result of work with the psychologist it is found out that there are all bases to keep a family, a professional advice, his support will allow to act correctly in a crisis situation, to get your ex back, to restore the world in a family and to avoid similar problems in future.
It is almost impossible to avoid the cases when you have to face the how to get your ex back situation. The biggest problem here is that people think too strong about how to get your ex back, instead of putting this whole situation in another way. This is not about how to get your ex back, really. It is about how to make it exciting again.
Best Way To Win Your Ex Back – Master This Tactic To Get Your Ex Back Today
Nov/090
If you want to win your ex back fast it is critical that you avoid making common mistakes that will do little but push you ex away forever. After a break up couples go through the same struggles, fights, acts of desperation by partners not wanting to let go.
It’s amazing that no matter how many times certain actions fail, the more we tend to hold onto them as the answer to all our problems, nothing rings more true than an a break up. If you find that you are making the common mistakes that I am talking about, such as constantly calling, messaging, emailing and following your ex’s whereabouts you must stop immediately. Stalking and harassing your ex is a quick fire way of losing them forever, is that what you want? best tricks to get your ex back
The best way to win your ex back happens to be same method used to forget about an ex completely, let me explain. In order to win your ex back you must show that you accept the break up, respect your partners decision and acknowledge that your relationship is over, sound familiar?
Chalk it up to Murphy’s Law if you like but how often have you heard or seen family members or friends get back with their ex once they have finally moved on with their lives. Doesn’t it seem once you are completely over your ex that you hear you phone ring with your ex being on the other side asking you to catch up soon?
It’s no coincidence, your goal is to do everything you need to do to get on with your life, spend time with family and friends, rediscover yourself and stop contact with your ex completely.
Remember this is only temporary don’t lose sight of the prize, if you continue to make the same common mistakes that almost ALL people make after a break up you can expect the same results, you ex out of your life forever. Don’t be slave to impulse, use your head to win your ex back the smart way.
When you feel comfortable about the time that has gone past, the space you have given you ex and you understand what needs to be repaired in your relationship it’s time to reunite. breaking up warning signs
If you have mutual friends get the word out that you are happy with your new lease on life, happy with life and looking forward to the next chapter. Once word gets back to your ex they will be questioning whether you have met someone else, have completely forgotten about them or paranoid they have lost you forever. This when you can win back your ex.
Love is almost never the reason for a break up. Discover an action plan that will win your ex back fast and avoid making the common mistakes that will push them away forever.
Don’t risk losing your ex forever to someone else, avoid heart break, learn step by step actions to take to get back together after a break up at save a relationship after cheating
Changing Your Personal Reality – Part 2
Aug/090
Time to Make Waves
In part one of this post we discussed the tendency some of us have to allow situations, circumstances, events and even other people to control our lives; in essence, giving away our power in an attempt to be accepted, valued, appreciated and loved. By trying to “fit in and not make waves” (as someone shared with me recently) it seems that some of us have lost our identity and sense of self. The good news is that we can take back control of our life and still be that kind, generous and thoughtful person – who also happens to be strong, confident, assertive, productive, successful and powerful. And no, we don’t need to compromise our beliefs, goals, character or core values to do so. In fact, taking back our power can be the most important step towards living a life of true purpose, alignment (with our core values), integrity and joy.
While the following strategies are very effective, they are not always comfortable or easy to implement, so it’s a good thing that you and I are all about doing what works – not what’s easy! Not every point will be relevant for every person, so see what resonates for you. Also be warned that I may be a little… er… blunt in places (surprising I know), so if you’re feeling a bit presh you may wanna read from behind a cushion (like in a scary movie). Enjoy.
1. Stop looking for easy and start “doing” effective.
Today. All too often our desire to live a comfortable, painless, easy and safe existence (all things driven by fear) is the very thing that kills our potential, our productivity, our ability to develop and ultimately, our spirit. It is no coincidence that we (the society) have both (1) a widespread aversion to anything that makes us uncomfortable and (2) a high percentage of people who regularly feel frustrated, unfulfilled, lost and miserable. Ironically, it is our aversion to working against resistance that stops us from growing, learning, evolving and adapting. Sometimes (in the moment) we believe it’s simply easier to just “fit in”, to compromise and to bite our tongue. While this is understandable on occasion, over the long term this kind of behaviour and thinking will set us up for unhealthy relationships, stagnation, disconnection, frustration, desperation and misery. In order to take back your power you will need to be courageous (that’s a choice by the way), you will need to be prepared to get uncomfortable (that’s where you learn, grow and adapt) and you will need to do things that may piss other people off – perhaps the ones who previously pulled your strings for their own gain.
2. Face your fears.
You can never take back your power until you confront the things that scare you. By the way, being fearful does not represent weakness but rather humanity.
“Show me the person who fears nothing and I’ll show you an idiot.”
*There’s also an argument that the person who fears nothing might also be the person who has reached enlightenment… but that’s a discussion for another day.
If things only have the power and influence that we assign them (and they do), then fear is something we can control and use for our own personal development. For the most part fear is a completely personal thing. It’s not about the situation, circumstance or environment but rather US in it; how we react to, process, cope with and interpret the events in our world. That’s why we can see two people doing the exact same thing at the same time (a bungee jump for example); one is excited and having a great time, while the other is terrified and having the worst time ever. That’s because it ain’t about the jump; it’s about the jumper. Keeping in mind that each jumper creates his or her own reality. Of course there are healthy fears – not wanting to swim with a shark for example – but what we’re talking about here are those destructive and unhealthy fears that have been known to make people prisoners of their own mind. For a lifetime.
3. When nice isn’t. (Nice)
Seek to be strong not nice. Too many nice people get chewed up and spat out because all they have is a bunch of “nice-ness” and zero personal power. Sometimes nice-ness is actually a euphemism for weakness and far too often our need to be seen as the “nice person” (oh please) is what brings us undone. Endeavouring to keep everyone in your world happy is an exercise in futility, frustration and exhaustion. And stupidity. In short, it can’t be done. It’s not your job to “make” people happy; it’s your job to be you. And not the “you” that people want you to be, but rather, your authentic self. The one who has clarity, certainty, contentment and calm about who and what they are. And no, being you does not mean being selfish.
4. Stop being a victim.
The world isn’t fair. The majority don’t care about you or your issues. Shit happens. Bad things happen to good people. And lots of people are selfish and nasty. There; we’ve cleared that up. Now, stop seeking pity, attention and sympathy and get on with it. Stop having the same pointless discussions about the same issues, stop waiting to be “saved” and stop giving away your power. You don’t need universal approval, acceptance or endorsement, you need a different attitude.
5. Win respect through your actions.
Talk less, do more. What you do will tell the rest of us far more about who you are than any words that might come out of your mouth. Words are cheap and often meaningless. Most big talkers are just that. And nothing more.
6. Keep re-inventing yourself.
Being stagnant and inflexible in a dynamic world is a sure-fire way to become redundant, unnecessary and powerless. While your core values, beliefs and standards might remain constant, it is important that you continue to adapt, learn, grow and develop with your ever-changing world.
7. Value yourself.
Stop treating others as though they are of greater worth than you. Nobody is more important than anyone else. And nobody is more important than you. Nobody. This is not about having a massive ego or being self-righteous; it’s about stopping all the self-sabotage. You know what I mean. It’s about not rationalising mediocrity and failure any more. It’s about changing your standards and your thinking. It’s about not letting your poor self-esteem get in the way of your potential and your possibilities. It’s about not letting your past become your future. In case you don’t know or you haven’t been told, I will tell you now; you are worthy, you are talented, you are good enough and you are powerful. More than you know. If you don’t believe those words then you don’t value yourself as you should.
*By the way, power and humility can go comfortably hand in hand.
8. Fiercely protect your brand.
Don’t associate with people, organisations, situations or products that will damage your reputation. In the professional world (where many of us spend a great deal of our lives) your brand is your power. The stronger your brand, the more power you have (in that world). Prospective employers, potential business associates and customers will all “buy what you’re selling” based largely (if not solely) on their perception of you; your product, your service, your ability, your skill, your integrity and your value to them.
The Last Bit
I know that in my last post I said I’d be sharing ten strategies but I ended up amalgamating some of the points, so that’s why we’ve ended up with eight. I’m not short-changing you… honest! Hope this installment has been of some value to you. As always. I would appreciate your feedback on this post. The comments are important to me as it gives me some insight into the kinds of areas that you want me to explore… so don’t be a stranger. Even you chronic Lurkers. Leave a comment below.
Craig Harper (B.Ex.Sci.) is a qualified exercise scientist, author, columnist, radio presenter, television host, motivational speaker and university lecturer. For the past 25 years he has been a leading presenter, educator, motivator and commentator in the areas of personal and professional development. You can visit Craig’s blog at Motivational Speaker.
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Take Back Your Personal Power (Part 2)
Jul/090
Time to Make Waves
In part one of this post we discussed the tendency some of us have to allow situations, circumstances, events and even other people to control our lives; in essence, giving away our power in an attempt to be accepted, valued, appreciated and loved. By trying to “fit in and not make waves” (as someone shared with me recently) it seems that some of us have lost our identity and sense of self. The good news is that we can take back control of our life and still be that kind, generous and thoughtful person – who also happens to be strong, confident, assertive, productive, successful and powerful. And no, we don’t need to compromise our beliefs, goals, character or core values to do so. In fact, taking back our power can be the most important step towards living a life of true purpose, alignment (with our core values), integrity and joy.
While the following strategies are very effective, they are not always comfortable or easy to implement, so it’s a good thing that you and I are all about doing what works – not what’s easy! Not every point will be relevant for every person, so see what resonates for you. Also be warned that I may be a little… er… blunt in places (surprising, I know), so if you’re feeling a bit presh you may wanna read from behind a cushion (like in a scary movie). Enjoy.
1. Stop looking for easy and start “doing” effective. Today.
All too often our desire to live a comfortable, painless, easy and safe existence (all things driven by fear) is the very thing that kills our potential, our productivity, our ability to develop and ultimately, our spirit. It is no coincidence that we (the society) have both (1) a widespread aversion to anything that makes us uncomfortable and (2) a high percentage of people who regularly feel frustrated, unfulfilled, lost and miserable. Ironically, it is our aversion to working against resistance that stops us from growing, learning, evolving and adapting. Sometimes (in the moment) we believe it’s simply easier to just “fit in”, to compromise and to bite our tongue. While this is understandable on occasion, over the long term this kind of behaviour and thinking will set us up for unhealthy relationships, stagnation, disconnection, frustration, desperation and misery. In order to take back your power you will need to be courageous (that’s a choice by the way), you will need to be prepared to get uncomfortable (that’s where you learn, grow and adapt) and you will need to do things that may piss other people off – perhaps the ones who previously pulled your strings for their own gain.
2. Face your fears.
You can never take back your power until you confront the things that scare you. By the way, being fearful does not represent weakness but rather humanity.
“Show me the person who fears nothing and I’ll show you an idiot.”
*There’s also an argument that the person who fears nothing might also be the person who has reached enlightenment… but that’s a discussion for another day.
If things only have the power and influence that we assign them (and they do), then fear is something we can control and use for our own personal development. For the most part fear is a completely personal thing. It’s not about the situation, circumstance or environment but rather US in it; how we react to, process, cope with and interpret the events in our world. That’s why we can see two people doing the exact same thing at the same time (a bungee jump for example); one is excited and having a great time, while the other is terrified and having the worst time ever. That’s because it ain’t about the jump; it’s about the jumper. Keeping in mind that each jumper creates his or her own reality. Of course there are healthy fears – not wanting to swim with a shark for example – but what we’re talking about here are those destructive and unhealthy fears that have been known to make people prisoners of their own mind. For a lifetime.
3. When nice isn’t. (Nice)
Seek to be strong not nice. Too many nice people get chewed up and spat out because all they have is a bunch of “nice-ness” and zero personal power. Sometimes nice-ness is actually a euphemism for weakness and far too often our need to be seen as the “nice person” (oh, please) is what brings us undone. Endeavouring to keep everyone in your world happy is an exercise in futility, frustration and exhaustion. And stupidity. In short, it can’t be done. It’s not your job to “make” people happy; it’s your job to be you. And not the “you” that people want you to be, but rather, your authentic self. The one who has clarity, certainty, contentment and calm about who and what they are. And no, being you does not mean being selfish.
4. Stop being a victim.
The world isn’t fair. The majority don’t care about you or your issues. S**t happens. Bad things happen to good people. And lots of people are selfish and nasty. There — we’ve cleared that up. Now, stop seeking pity, attention and sympathy and get on with it. Stop having the same pointless discussions about the same issues, stop waiting to be “saved” and stop giving away your power. You don’t need universal approval, acceptance or endorsement, you need a different attitude.
5. Win respect through your actions.
Talk less, do more. What you do will tell the rest of us far more about who you are than any words that might come out of your mouth. Words are cheap and often meaningless. Most big talkers are just that. And nothing more.
6. Keep re-inventing yourself.
Being stagnant and inflexible in a dynamic world is a sure-fire way to become redundant, unnecessary and powerless. While your core values, beliefs and standards might remain constant, it is important that you continue to adapt, learn, grow and develop with your ever-changing world.
7. Value yourself.
Stop treating others as though they are of greater worth than you. Nobody is more important than anyone else. And nobody is more important than you. Nobody. This is not about having a massive ego or being self-righteous; it’s about stopping all the self-sabotage. You know what I mean. It’s about not rationalising mediocrity and failure any more. It’s about changing your standards and your thinking. It’s about not letting your poor self-esteem get in the way of your potential and your possibilities. It’s about not letting your past become your future. In case you don’t know or you haven’t been told, I will tell you now; you are worthy, you are talented, you are good enough and you are powerful. More than you know. If you don’t believe those words then you don’t value yourself as you should.
*By the way, power and humility can go comfortably hand in hand.
8. Fiercely protect your brand.
Don’t associate with people, organisations, situations or products that will damage your reputation. In the professional world (where many of us spend a great deal of our lives) your brand is your power. The stronger your brand, the more power you have (in that world). Prospective employers, potential business associates and customers will all “buy what you’re selling” based largely (if not solely) on their perception of you; your product, your service, your ability, your skill, your integrity and your value to them.
Craig Harper (B.Ex.Sci.) is a qualified exercise scientist, author, columnist, radio presenter, television host, motivational speaker and university lecturer. For the past 25 years he has been a leading presenter, educator, motivator and commentator in the areas of personal and professional development. You can visit Craig’s blog at Motivational Speaker.
