A Woman’s World
Dec/090
Today’s Article on “A Woman’s World ” brought to you by How to get my girlfriend back.
Women are simply wonderful don’t you think? This question is not just aimed at us men but to women also! Throughout my life women have played a massive part in my upbringing from my Mother, my Aunts and to my very lovely and sadly missed Grandmother. These women have nurtured me and shown me what it takes to really be a man. How did they do that? Well! Somehow they just did and God they do it so well.
Men’s fascination with women be you straight or gay is so open to many questions that men can never actually quite answer but if you talk to a woman the odds are that if you ask them the right questions you will get the right answers. It’s this innate goodness that they naturally have which most men don’t really understand. So what do we do as men, we keep most of our emotions locked deep within us and we never really truly say what we really feel and want. Now that’s when all the problems start, don’t get me wrong now some men are very open with their feelings but most men are pretty much isolated in regards to how they feel and what they say…For instance take me, I have only ever really been in love maybe once or twice in my life so far and in those two separate occasions my feelings for the two women actually grew much stronger when It appeared that I was losing their love.
I felt in love at the start but that really was not the case and as I got to really know each of these two women, I loved them but I was not in love until I could no longer be with them.
It’s amazing how this situation happens so many times in relationships. It always starts as Lust and Infatuation but then it becomes just ok! Then there is that tedious period where you are both a bit lost with each other and you do all you can to revive it but in reality you can’t because you know that you both have changed somewhat and silly things like life in general helps change your view of the person you are with. Then one day its all over and yes we all do what we can to deal with it but for me the end was always where I could finally see just how much I was in love with the person and then I would look like and act like a fool to try to resolve the situation but again it would always be too late. Why! Well as a man my true feelings were hidden and I could never find the right things to say when it really mattered. Life is hard but you know what, we make it so hard especially us men…we should really do much more to understand our women and women as a whole!
Women are seen as sex objects in so many ways that these days you are blinded by just how beautiful and natural women are. We desire them the same way we desire money, in fact within today’s society both are pretty much the same to many men. From those immortal words from the main character from the movie ‘Scarface’ where he says, ‘You get the money, you get the power and you get the women’. This is so true and its how most men see women. When the young see all these images of women parading around practically naked in rap videos and other mediums where women are somewhat idolises, it’s us men who really benefit the most from it, I sometimes wonder and ask other women just what they think about this and the most of the time the woman would put the blame on women, where you would think that they would be angry at men!
On many occasions I have seen or heard where the man does wrong i.e. let’s say, he cheats on his girlfriend, instead of blaming the boyfriend the girl would go after the girl he cheated with…go figure! Women these days for me can be their worse own enemy.
Women truly just want to be loved but it’s us men who don’t know why they want that, so we screw things up all the time and it’s always the woman who has to pick up the pieces. There are some great men out there who are very open with their feelings and good on them but there is still a vast majority of men around the world who because of
lack of intelligence choose to disrespect women in so may ways to the point it seems that they almost hate women which I think most men do anyway because they fear what they don’t understand. In a woman’s world things look and feel different, to them I feel that they see life more clearly. In a man’s world men almost feel that they are held back, we view women as objects to be used and abused mentally and physically. If it was ever possible to find a common ground between the sexes that would be understanding. In my life I have been lucky enough to really understand most women but still I feel like a novice when it comes to truly understanding what women want. So the lesson continues and it’s a lesson where in truth I just have to learn and that should apply to all the men in the world.
Mark J Stevens©
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Where Do Ideas Come From?
Oct/090
Since publishing a series of posts on dating and living in the last couple of weeks, I’ve been asked several times how I came up with the idea to see dating as a kind of metaphor for life. The immediate source of the story was pretty mundane – someone asked me a question about another article and I used going on a date as an example to illustrate my answer, and thought “hey, there might be something to this more generally!”
But the response to those stories has gotten me thinking about ideas and creativity more generally. Writers are asked all the time about where we get our ideas. So are musicians, painters, actors, designers, and other creative people. It’s a source of fascination for many, who perhaps see in the talent of others something they feel is missing from themselves.
Interestingly, most of the creative people I know don’t see their creative impulses as particularly exclusive. What separates the creative from the not-so-creative isn’t so much the ability to come up with ideas but the ability to trust them, or to trust ourselves to realize them. That trust lies at least in part in knowing we have the skills to bring forth a finished product from an initial idea, which is why so many creative people tend to take a craftsman’s (or woman’s) approach towards their work (and resent those who squander their ideas by refusing to do the groundwork needed to make them real), but skill is only part of it. There are plenty of skilled but not-particularly-creative people – hacks – in every field. What separates the creative from the not-so-creative is the willingness to take risks with ideas, to push both the idea and the self beyond the safe and comfortable.
There are two schools of thought about where ideas come from. One is the “artist as antenna” concept, in which ideas float in some barely perceptible aether waiting for someone to pick them up, the way a radio picks up a song when it’s tuned to just the right frequency. This is Keith Richards waking up in the middle of the night with the main riff from “Satisfaction” fully-formed in his head.
The second school holds that ideas are the product of hard work and thoughtful concentration. “It’s just work,” says Andy Warhol to Lou Reed about songwriting in Reed’s album, with John Cale, Songs for Drella. Sit down with a pad and pencil and think, and don’t get up until you have something! This school is the writer grinding out his or her 4 pages a day, the mad poet storming up and down the street in search of the perfect word to express exactly what s/he’s feeling, and the designer who sits down with a brief and just starts working.
The reality is probably somewhere in the middle – we get ideas from within ourselves and from without, or more to the point, from the interaction of the two. It is in the active engagement of the artist with his or her world, through preparation, conscious attention, curiosity, effort, and a dash of serendipity, that ideas are born:
- Preparation: Ideas come to those who are prepared to receive them, whatever the origin. Scientists have ideas about science, not poetry – unless they have also practiced at the craft of poetry. And vice-versa – it’s the rare poet who is struck by an idea that advances our understanding of molecular biology. Skillful musicians have ideas that translate into beautiful songs, and skillful writers create daring novels that illuminate our lives. Those who haven’t prepared themselves to be creative rarely are.
- Attention: Paying attention to the world around us – whether the immediate activities of people in our vicinity or the distant events reported through the media, or anywhere in between – is one source of ideas. You’ve heard the saying that “necessity is the other of invention” but it also takes someone paying close enough attention to recognize that need in the first place.
- Curiosity: Creativity often comes from the drive to understand and take things apart, literally or figuratively. It stems from the desire to know “what if…” and to follow that question until it gets somewhere interesting.
- Effort: Whether you’re the antenna or the bricklayer, creativity takes a commitment to work. “Ideas are cheap,” the saying goes. “Execution is hard.” Ideas need to be captured, given attention, followed up on, and committed to a plan of action, or they disappear back to wherever they came – whether “out there” or deep in your unconscious mind. And they rarely come back.
- Serendipity: Serendipity is two things. First, it’s the luck to be at the right place at the right time, to be Newton at exactly the moment the apple falls from the tree. The second is the openness to making connections between unrelated things or events – to see in a bathtub a lesson about physics, or to see in a date a lesson about life.
These elements of creativity all play together, of course. How many millions of baths were taken before Archimedes had his “Eureka!” moment? Yet it was Archimedes who was prepared to understand what it meant when he climbed into his bath and saw the water level rise, Archimedes who paid attention to what he saw, Archimedes who was curious enough to wonder what was happening, Archimedes who was willing to do the follow-up work to translate his experience into a general principle about volume and displacement, and Archimedes who just happened to bring all this with him into the bath on that fateful day.
The thing is, these are all things each and every one of us can cultivate in her or his own life. They aren’t God-given gifts reserved to the few. And they apply well beyond the world of the arts – marketers, parents, teachers, factory workers, salespersons, electricians, computer programmers, and just about everyone else face situations that call for creative responses, though we often miss them for lack of preparation, attention, curiosity, effort, or serendipity. Start making a conscious effort to develop these elements, though, and I bet you’ll start engaging with your world more creatively in short order.
Dustin M. Wax is a freelance writer and project manager at Stepcase Lifehack. He is also the creator of The Writer’s Technology Companion, a site devoted to the tools of the writing trade. When he’s not writing, he teaches anthropology and gender studies in Las Vegas, NV. He is the author of Don’t Be Stupid: A Guide to Learning, Studying, and Succeeding at College.
Follow him on Twitter: @dwax.
