Accessing Your Inner Guidance–Part Two
Feb/100
You’ve heard of Murphy’s Law, which says that whatever can go wrong will go wrong. Well, there’s another law, which says that left to themselves, things have a tendency to go from bad to worse. When something is making you unhappy, for any reason, the situation will tend to get worse rather than better. So avoid the temptation to engage in denial, to pretend that nothing is wrong, to wish and hope and pray that, whatever it is, it will go away and you won’t have to do anything. The fact is that it probably will get worse before it gets better and that ultimately you will need to face the situation and do something about it.
There’s an old saying that you can’t solve a problem on the level that you meet it. This means that wrestling with a challenge is usually fruitless and frustrating. For example, if two people who are in a relationship together are constantly fighting and negotiating and looking for some way to resolve their difficulties, they’re attempting to solve the problem on the wrong level. Dealing with the problem on a higher level, those people would ask the question, “In terms of being happy, is this the right relationship for us in the first place?” As soon as you begin to use happiness as your measure of rightness, you begin to see a situation entirely differently.
Many people work very hard and experience considerable frustration trying to do a particular job. However, in terms of their own happiness, the right answer might be to do something else, or to do what they’re doing in a different place, or to do it with different people-or all three.
Ask Yourself
Following are a few questions for you to answer in this arena of happiness. Many people refuse to even consider these questions because they’re afraid that if they do, they won’t like the answers. But nevertheless, have the courage to clearly define your life in your own terms. Here are the questions; write them down at the top of a sheet of paper, and then write as many answers to each one as you possibly can.
The first question is: “What would it take for me to be perfectly happy?” Write down every single thing that you can imagine would be in your life if you were perfectly happy at this very moment. Write down things such as health, happiness, prosperity, loving relationships, inner peace, travel, car, clothes, homes, money, and so on. Let your mind run freely. Imagine that you have no limitations at all. Write everything down whether or not you think you have the capacity to acquire it or achieve it in the short term. Your first job is always to be clear about what it would take for you to have your ideal life.
The second question is a little tougher. Write down at the top of a page this question: “In what situations in my life, and with whom, am I not perfectly happy?” Force yourself to think about every part of your day, from morning to night, and write down every element that makes you unhappy or dissatisfied in any way. Remember, proper diagnosis is half the cure. Identifying the problematic situations is the first step to resolving them.
The third question will give you some important guidelines. Write down at the top of a sheet of paper these words: “In looking over my life, where and when have I been the happiest? Where was I, with whom was I, and what was I doing?”
By asking and answering those three questions, you begin to delve deeper and deeper into yourself and your feelings. You begin to accept your own happiness as a legitimate standard by which to evaluate everyone and everything in your life. You begin to develop the wisdom, the courage, and the foresight to organize your life in such a way that you become a much happier person.
Once you have the answers to those questions, think about what you can do, starting immediately, to begin creating the kind of life that you dream of. It may take you a week, a month or a year, but that doesn’t matter. Every single thing you do that moves you closer to your vision of happiness will be rewarding in itself. You’ll become a more positive and optimistic person. You’ll feel more confident and more in charge of your life.
Happy vs. Right
And now here’s the most important exercise of all. It is from the advice of Dr. Gerald Jampolsky, who asks, “Do you want to be right, or do you want to be happy?” He recommends that you set peace of mind as your highest goal and that you select and organize around it all your other goals in life. You hold up each part of your life to this standard of peace of mind, and you either get into or get out of anything that adds to it or detracts from it.
The most important part in this process of getting in touch with your feelings is to begin to practice solitude on a regular basis. Solitude is the most powerful activity in which you can engage. Men and women who practice it correctly and on a regular basis never fail to be amazed at the difference it makes in their lives.
Most people have never practiced solitude. Most people have never sat down quietly by themselves for any period of time in their entire lives. Most people are so busy being busy, doing something-even watching television-that it’s highly unusual for them to simply sit, deliberately, and do nothing. But as Catherine Ponder points out, “Men and women begin to become great when they begin to take time quietly by themselves, when they begin to practice solitude.” And here’s the method you can use.
Method of Solitude
To get the full benefit of your periods of solitude, you must sit quietly for at least 30 to 60 minutes at a time. If you haven’t done it before, it will take the first 25 minutes or so for you to stop fidgeting and moving around. You’ll almost have to hold yourself physically in your seat. You’ll have an almost irresistible desire to get up and do something. But you must persist.
Solitude requires that you sit quietly, perfectly still, back and head erect, eyes open, without cigarettes, candy, writing materials, music or any interruptions whatsoever for at least 30 minutes. An hour is better.
Become completely relaxed, and breathe deeply. Just let your mind flow. Don’t deliberately try to think about anything. The harder you “don’t try,” the more powerfully it works. After 20 or 25 minutes, you’ll begin to feel deeply relaxed. You’ll begin to experience a flow of energy coming into your mind and body. You’ll have a tremendous sense of well-being. At this point, you’ll be ready to get the full benefit of these moments of contemplation.
The incredible thing about solitude is that if it is done correctly, it works just about 100 percent of the time. While you’re sitting there, a stream, a river, of ideas will flow through your mind. You’ll think about countless subjects in an uncontrolled stream of consciousness. Your job is just to relax and listen to your inner voice. At a certain stage during your period of solitude, the answers to the most pressing difficulties facing you will emerge quietly and clearly, like a boat putting in gently to the side of a lake. The answer that you seek will come to you so clearly and it will feel so perfect that you’ll experience a deep sense of gratitude and contentment. You may get several answers in one period of quiet sitting. But in any case, you’ll get the answer to the most important situation facing you every single time.
When you arise from this period of quiet, you must do exactly what has come to you. It may involve dealing with a human situation. It may involve starting something or quitting something. Whatever it is, when you follow the guidance that you received in solitude, it will turn out to be exactly the right thing to do. Everything will be OK. And it will usually work out far better than you could have imagined. Just try it and see.
That brings us to the final point on getting in touch with your feelings: You must learn to trust yourself. You must learn to take time to listen to your emotions and your feelings as to what makes you happy or unhappy, as to what feels right or wrong. You must absolutely trust that what is right for you is the right thing to do. You must never compromise on what your inner voice tells you to do. You must never go against what you feel to be correct. You must develop the habit of listening to yourself and then acting on the guidance you receive.
When you listen to yourself and act on what you hear inside, you are setting out on the road to personal greatness.
Read “Accessing Your Inner-Guidance Part One”
Would you like to come out of this recession as a self-made millionaire?
Register for my seminar: Total Business Makeover
Broken Relationships Rebound The Smart Manner
Jan/100
How several times have you ever seen one of your friends split with an extended-term partner only to seek out, the terribly next week, someone who was clearly all wrong for them? It’s one of the foremost common once effects of the top of relationships: rebound dating.
The thought of rebound relationships is so ingrained into the method we assume concerning dating that it simply looks natural to appear for one when a breakup. There’s one thing to be said for obtaining “back in the saddle,” selecting a partner when your judgment is clouded usually will additional harm than smart overall. If you want to urge over your ex fast, there are higher ways to try to to it.
Band-Aid relationships: rebound mindset
The primary step to keeping yourself from doing one thing you’ll regret is to take an honest have a look at what you’re feeling and understand how those feelings will lead you places you’d rather not go. A ton of times we tend to just miss the companionship and appearance for someone to fill the gap in our schedule and distract us from the fact that our heart’s just been broken. In that case, create a purpose of finding a social time-filler that doesn’t involve romance.
Maintain your standards
The simplest thing you can do to avoid obtaining concerned with somebody who’s all wrong for you is follow your standards. After all, go ahead and raise them a little simply to add a security buffer. If the person you’re puzzling over dating is a smaller amount kind, less intelligent, less something that you just’d normally need, stay away. The people don’t make for smart relationships, rebound or otherwise.
Beware of the most convenient person
When we look for somebody to rebound with, we have a tendency to would like somebody fast. We have a tendency to don’t have time to “waste” trying for someone we extremely click with, therefore we tend to tend to latch on to someone we have a tendency to already grasp and have a minimum of some rapport with. It may be a shut friend, a co-employee, even somebody who works at the grocery store down the street. If you discover yourself falling for somebody you’ve never been the least bit drawn to before, stop and assume concerning what’s extremely happening here.
Take time for yourself
Rather than filling your time with go-nowhere dates, get out and make some new friends (that’s “friends,” not “lovers.” There’s a difference.) Get involved in something you’ve continuously wanted to try to to but never had time for. Whatever you are doing, don’t sit around pining for your ex or scouring the bookstore shelves for self help books.
Be mild with yourself.
Even if your not sobbing into your pillow every night, the tip of a relationship can naturally make you are feeling a little bummed out and low on energy. Take that into account and attempt not to begin any major comes for a few weeks. Instead, treat yourself to some time out to do one thing you enjoy.
After all, not each rebound relationship winds up a disaster. If you’re lucky, you’ll have a fun fling. If you do decide to induce involved with someone when a breakup, though, build positive you’ve taken a little off by yourself and you’re not lowering your standards. Whereas we will stop broken relationships: rebound dates gone wrong are straightforward to avoid.
To learn how to get ex back, visit this site: get ex back. Learn the secrets to getting your ex back into your arms…. Go to get ex back today!
Why Flirting Is Necessary To Relationships
Dec/090
What’s flirting? Are you accomplished with flirting? Does one acknowledge it when someone is being flirtatious with you? Advice on relationships can be really helpful for you. Is being flirtatious detrimental to relationships or smart for them? Some folks think that flirting is harmful, but I’m here to tell you why flirting is very important to relationships. Before we tend to speak regarding why flirting is vital to singles dating, but, we have a tendency to first identify what flirting is.
Being flirtatious could be a type of communication that begins amongst 2 folks that indicates the other person is teasingly fascinated by either getting to grasp the other individual better or taking the relationship a very little farther. Being flirtatious will take several forms. Local online dating is worth looking into. Being flirtatious will be the wink of an eye. Being flirtatious can be a comment that can be both suggestive and childlike. Being flirtatious will be an informal touch of the hand to the shoulder. Flirting will be a timid grin with a sad face and upturned eyes. Okay, so now that we have a tendency to all recognize what we are speaking of, it is time to realize why being flirtatious is is vital to relationships.
You should know that, being flirtatious is important to singles dating early on; because it is being flirtatious that starts relationships. If nobody ever flirts, no one ever knows that the other person is interested, and the link in no way gets started.
Being flirtatious early on is additionally necessary because it enables you feel as if you are nice-looking. Nothing enables somebody more enticing than giving the impression that others just like the way they look. In other words, flirting creates confidence, and self-assurance enables the individual even more attractive. It’s a fantastic pastime that makes people feel sensible and want to urge to understand you better; which is why flirting is vital to relationships early on.
Later, flirting is very important to dating because it signals an close connection for your girlfriend. There is nothing that makes a woman feel desirable than to know that she and her man have a lingering connection, and nothing can cite that feeling in her quite like an pure flirt from across the room at a packed congregation. It is as if the whole world goes away for just a flash and there’s nothing and no one but the two folks involved.
Quite a few studies show that being flirtatious is very important to relationships even when the link has been continuing for many years; that’s because it makes the couple feel better concerning themselves, their partner, and the relationship in general.
Why is flirting necessary to dating? It keeps a little spark going and makes you feel great, cute, and desired. Thus, the next time you are enduring a boring but needed business event or sitting through your niece’s graduation party or getting ready to travel to the food market, bear in mind why being flirtatious is vital to dating and provide your date or significant other a very little pinch on the butt or a quick little wink of the eye. Honestly, it will work miracles and produce a little zest to your love life.
Fetch practical information about emotional freedom technique training – please make sure to study this web site. The times have come when concise information is really only one click of your mouse, use this opportunity.
How To Get Your Ex Back
Dec/090
Returning together with your girlfriend can be much easier, if you follow several simple steps. One of the tried and true steps, which you can use to return it, should spend some time and attention to you it is direct. When you will wrap up in relations, can be really easy to forget to take care.
Without understanding it you can become much less interesting and grasping for your girlfriend. Neglecting you it is direct, you can is easy to become much less attractive. If you wish to return the girlfriend after serious split, a bit your improvement can go a long way.
Remember, how it was, when you at first have fallen in love? Remember, how it was, when you have met for the first time and have fallen in love? Remember, how you always tried to look yours very much the best. A response as you always operated above the game every time when it was around. Everything, what slowly starts to change? Only it is natural that we relax and become more real after a while. As we become more convenient with our girlfriend there is even a tendency to consider her itself understood. While it can be healthy to weaken and possess relations, we can sometimes bear things too far and to start to neglect our relations.
You were once very good in it, whether not so? When you have met for the first time and has fallen in love, doing all things, which kindled a spark of your relations, has arrived easily. You can come back together with your girlfriend. Doing you directly more interesting, the reference, and excitation – one big step to that purpose.
You really already know how to make yourself addressing to your girlfriend. As you go about creation of things, excitation your business. It really depends by nature your relations with your girlfriend. You will probably wish to lower some pounds and to enter into the best form. Probably you should dress up the wardrobe or meet new and fascinating friends. Probably you only should show to your girlfriend of more attention. After you think of it some time, I am assured that you will know that the correct way restores your relations.
If you wish to return the girlfriend, really has no value who was mistaken! Also it is possible that your girlfriend has simply started to consider you self-evident. These things work both ways, certainly. But if you wish to get your girlfriend back, it is really has no value who is negligent. Often both parties are guilty in considering self-evident relations. Whether there was you thrown or what has neglected, really has no value in this point. The unique person, whom you can change, is you. You should undertake actions to transform to the reference and interesting to a dynamo that you were once. You should make things excitation once again.
You can rescue the relations and return your ex.
Are you looking for as answer to the “how to get your ex back” question? Please visit the site of this ex back system that has helped many people to get out of the how to get your ex back problems.
Remember, that a situation with how to get your ex back question is not the end of everything. You just need to know where exactly to find the answer and what to do about it.
Changing Your Personal Reality – Part 2
Aug/090
Time to Make Waves
In part one of this post we discussed the tendency some of us have to allow situations, circumstances, events and even other people to control our lives; in essence, giving away our power in an attempt to be accepted, valued, appreciated and loved. By trying to “fit in and not make waves” (as someone shared with me recently) it seems that some of us have lost our identity and sense of self. The good news is that we can take back control of our life and still be that kind, generous and thoughtful person – who also happens to be strong, confident, assertive, productive, successful and powerful. And no, we don’t need to compromise our beliefs, goals, character or core values to do so. In fact, taking back our power can be the most important step towards living a life of true purpose, alignment (with our core values), integrity and joy.
While the following strategies are very effective, they are not always comfortable or easy to implement, so it’s a good thing that you and I are all about doing what works – not what’s easy! Not every point will be relevant for every person, so see what resonates for you. Also be warned that I may be a little… er… blunt in places (surprising I know), so if you’re feeling a bit presh you may wanna read from behind a cushion (like in a scary movie). Enjoy.
1. Stop looking for easy and start “doing” effective.
Today. All too often our desire to live a comfortable, painless, easy and safe existence (all things driven by fear) is the very thing that kills our potential, our productivity, our ability to develop and ultimately, our spirit. It is no coincidence that we (the society) have both (1) a widespread aversion to anything that makes us uncomfortable and (2) a high percentage of people who regularly feel frustrated, unfulfilled, lost and miserable. Ironically, it is our aversion to working against resistance that stops us from growing, learning, evolving and adapting. Sometimes (in the moment) we believe it’s simply easier to just “fit in”, to compromise and to bite our tongue. While this is understandable on occasion, over the long term this kind of behaviour and thinking will set us up for unhealthy relationships, stagnation, disconnection, frustration, desperation and misery. In order to take back your power you will need to be courageous (that’s a choice by the way), you will need to be prepared to get uncomfortable (that’s where you learn, grow and adapt) and you will need to do things that may piss other people off – perhaps the ones who previously pulled your strings for their own gain.
2. Face your fears.
You can never take back your power until you confront the things that scare you. By the way, being fearful does not represent weakness but rather humanity.
“Show me the person who fears nothing and I’ll show you an idiot.”
*There’s also an argument that the person who fears nothing might also be the person who has reached enlightenment… but that’s a discussion for another day.
If things only have the power and influence that we assign them (and they do), then fear is something we can control and use for our own personal development. For the most part fear is a completely personal thing. It’s not about the situation, circumstance or environment but rather US in it; how we react to, process, cope with and interpret the events in our world. That’s why we can see two people doing the exact same thing at the same time (a bungee jump for example); one is excited and having a great time, while the other is terrified and having the worst time ever. That’s because it ain’t about the jump; it’s about the jumper. Keeping in mind that each jumper creates his or her own reality. Of course there are healthy fears – not wanting to swim with a shark for example – but what we’re talking about here are those destructive and unhealthy fears that have been known to make people prisoners of their own mind. For a lifetime.
3. When nice isn’t. (Nice)
Seek to be strong not nice. Too many nice people get chewed up and spat out because all they have is a bunch of “nice-ness” and zero personal power. Sometimes nice-ness is actually a euphemism for weakness and far too often our need to be seen as the “nice person” (oh please) is what brings us undone. Endeavouring to keep everyone in your world happy is an exercise in futility, frustration and exhaustion. And stupidity. In short, it can’t be done. It’s not your job to “make” people happy; it’s your job to be you. And not the “you” that people want you to be, but rather, your authentic self. The one who has clarity, certainty, contentment and calm about who and what they are. And no, being you does not mean being selfish.
4. Stop being a victim.
The world isn’t fair. The majority don’t care about you or your issues. Shit happens. Bad things happen to good people. And lots of people are selfish and nasty. There; we’ve cleared that up. Now, stop seeking pity, attention and sympathy and get on with it. Stop having the same pointless discussions about the same issues, stop waiting to be “saved” and stop giving away your power. You don’t need universal approval, acceptance or endorsement, you need a different attitude.
5. Win respect through your actions.
Talk less, do more. What you do will tell the rest of us far more about who you are than any words that might come out of your mouth. Words are cheap and often meaningless. Most big talkers are just that. And nothing more.
6. Keep re-inventing yourself.
Being stagnant and inflexible in a dynamic world is a sure-fire way to become redundant, unnecessary and powerless. While your core values, beliefs and standards might remain constant, it is important that you continue to adapt, learn, grow and develop with your ever-changing world.
7. Value yourself.
Stop treating others as though they are of greater worth than you. Nobody is more important than anyone else. And nobody is more important than you. Nobody. This is not about having a massive ego or being self-righteous; it’s about stopping all the self-sabotage. You know what I mean. It’s about not rationalising mediocrity and failure any more. It’s about changing your standards and your thinking. It’s about not letting your poor self-esteem get in the way of your potential and your possibilities. It’s about not letting your past become your future. In case you don’t know or you haven’t been told, I will tell you now; you are worthy, you are talented, you are good enough and you are powerful. More than you know. If you don’t believe those words then you don’t value yourself as you should.
*By the way, power and humility can go comfortably hand in hand.
8. Fiercely protect your brand.
Don’t associate with people, organisations, situations or products that will damage your reputation. In the professional world (where many of us spend a great deal of our lives) your brand is your power. The stronger your brand, the more power you have (in that world). Prospective employers, potential business associates and customers will all “buy what you’re selling” based largely (if not solely) on their perception of you; your product, your service, your ability, your skill, your integrity and your value to them.
The Last Bit
I know that in my last post I said I’d be sharing ten strategies but I ended up amalgamating some of the points, so that’s why we’ve ended up with eight. I’m not short-changing you… honest! Hope this installment has been of some value to you. As always. I would appreciate your feedback on this post. The comments are important to me as it gives me some insight into the kinds of areas that you want me to explore… so don’t be a stranger. Even you chronic Lurkers. Leave a comment below.
Craig Harper (B.Ex.Sci.) is a qualified exercise scientist, author, columnist, radio presenter, television host, motivational speaker and university lecturer. For the past 25 years he has been a leading presenter, educator, motivator and commentator in the areas of personal and professional development. You can visit Craig’s blog at Motivational Speaker.
FREE eBook – So… You’ve Decided to Get in Shape (Again)
Craig’s FREE eBook takes 20 – 30 minutes to read, and addresses the REAL getting-in-shape issues based on his 25 years of experience. To get Craig’s FREE eBook click here, weight loss books.
